The Jank Tank: Yoggalia Control – Welcome to Twisted Gaming

The Jank Tank #2: Yoggalia Control Greetings to all of you eldritch followers! This time on The Jank Tank™ we shall be taking a peek at how one of our Lovecraftian overlords works in a non traditional style. Holy crap would you look at this guy? Yog-Sothoth, the Chaos of 1000 Keys or something like that, I mean just look at him, dapper as all get out with that pimp cane of a key. You’ve more than likely read about my prior experiences with this bonafide, Grade-A, Gentleman with the article “A Journey Into R’leyh” but in case you haven’t, let’s take a look at everything that this guy has to offer, cause he’s about to blow your socks off of your feet. So you have this guy’s ruler side, Umr-At-Tawil. Fun fact, for those of you not devoted to the Great Ones, Umr is simply the human avatar of Yoggy boy when he decides that he feels like interacting with people. Now, Umr has no other abilities besides Energize and his Judgment. For a Darkness and X, you’re in for a real treat when you pay that cost and break the seal and let this suave and deceitful master of deception show his semi true form. Now that you’ve flipped over, BAM! Big, beefy beatstick stats are all that you see. You see that number along the left side of the card? 1500 ATK and 1500 DEF?! What is this god amongst mortals? I’ll tell you what it is, it’s the sweet embrace of tentacle slapping eldritch destruction my friends. He’s got a limit to how long he’s allowed to feel you up with those squishy and slappery (meaning that they are slippery and will slap you) tentacles. Remember how his judgment had an X in it? Well this is where that comes in. Yoggy boy enters with Limit counters equaling X + 1 so if you just paid a single savory dark will, you’ll be sitting pretty with one attack before you lose that glorious counter. Now keep in mind, at the start of a turn if you don’t have a limit counter on Yog, he’s going turn around, slap you with a moist tentacle, and put them back in his pants and coat where they belong. Yoggy is a vengeful individual, and he wants to make sure that before he flips back that he takes as much with him as possible before he returns to being Umr. At the end of each turn, you blow up all resonators that share a total cost with the number of limit counters on Yog, then take a limit counter off him, effectively shoving one of many tentacles back where it belongs. Hey? You there reading this article? You still good? Got all of your sanity still? Get ready to not have that because we’re about to get a little crazy. THE JANK: Spells: 2 Interdimensional Vessel, Apollo 4 Laevateinn, the Demon Sword 4 Artemis, the God’s Bow 3 Excalibur, the God’s Sword 4 Deathscythe, the Life Reaper 2 Horn of Sacred Beasts 4 Charlotte’s Water Transformation Magic 3 The Scorn of Dark Alice 2 Lapis’ Dark Storm 4 An Encounter With Cthulhu 3 Space-Time Anomaly 2 Wind-Secluded Refuge 2 Endless Night 1 Eternal Recurrence Stones: 4 Ruler’s Memoria 3 Magic Stone of Dark Depth 3 Magic Stone of Black Silence Now I know what you’re thinking, you just straight up lose to a well-timed heavenly gust or a black moonbeam, and you’re absolutely right! I won’t lie, you have some really god awful matchups with this deck, but sometimes it doesn’t quite matter. Sometimes, you can just churn out a good old T3 kill with this build only because Yog is such a viable beat stick. The deck is literally just resonatorless control with twenty different regalia, what did you think our win con was? Decking an opponent? Nah, you’ve just got to grow a pair and then command Yog to deck your opponent in the schnozz with his massively moist appendages. Once they’ve had enough, they should be dead and you’re moving on to the next round! Now for clarification, we’ll move on and explain some of the key choices for what makes this deck have even a sliver of potential in a locals scene. As stated previously, The Jank Tank™ is not meant to be a periodical that tells you all about the best decks possible, it’s just meant to be something Jankier than the average bear. With that out of the way, onto the meat and potatoes of this janky picinic basket. So have you ever wondered what it would be like to see the flying spaghetti monster? Look no further because sweet mother Theresa on the hood of a Mercedes Benz here he his! The deck is based on a simple strategy, you flip Yog, you swing with Yog, and your opponent loses. Laevateinn is one of the two regalia you should aim to at least have in your opening hand, as is Apollo. With both of these on field if you were on the draw, you have the opportunity to just swing in for a cool 17 damage to put some early pressure on. Even if you hold back and wait, the only real problem that you’re going to encounter is Fiethsing when it comes to flying blockers in the early game. One of the other things that you should keep in mind is that Deathscythe is a great tool for our squirming cosmic being. You can stop Mikage from being able to flip and just dome you without consequence, you also benefit from being able to recur this shiny slicing tool by removing three things from your bin from the game. If you really thought you weren’t going to see this here, I’m sorry, but it’s too good not to include in a deck that needs tons of regalia. Do I really need to explain why? I mean plus, just consider that Yog has full control of all his slappery appendages and I’m almost positive he could shoot four bows at a time. If you really think about it, a resonatorless deck just nets pure value from using Encounter with Cthluhu. Oh you’re playing against stealth? They have to target their own things because you sure don’t have any valid targets for them, so you just drop an encounter when they start going off and you begin clearing the field and they lose more life. Space-Time is just straight value, 8 copies of a draw spell is pretty top notch when you’re trying to dig for more regalia to just drop on your opponent and bring down the mighty tentacles all over their face. Lastly, let’s take a look at Endless Night, which once again, it’s pretty cool when you look at running against stealth or Fiethsing. You blow up one of their guys, and all tokens Fieth makes just die, if Stealth had to target their own Melder and give it -800/-800 you just pop the other stealth resonator they control and the debuffed Melder goes with it. It’s just hypothetical pure value. Now on paper, this deck is much like Val 2 in the fact that it’s a game one king. I’m not saying that I’ve done this at all, but I might have shamed our tentacle endowed overlord after my opponent at locals showed me that he had four heavenly gusts, three moonbeams, and three Hera’s coming in from side. I may have not prepared a sideboard that was adequate to deal with something like that so I may have scooped on the spot and went and possibly cried in a corner for the rest of the evening. Don’t be like the me who may have done those things, now I possibly have to live every day for the rest of my life slowly losing my sanity all because I maybe couldn’t get Yog to continue slapping my opponents to death. Well that’s all for now my fellow devotees to the cosmically unfathomable, join me next month as we try and get into the spirit of the holidays!

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